While there maybe some exceptions (Mayim Bialik sort-of comes to mind) - most of these actors are certifiable and could not be trusted for any responsible decision on anything.
Which brings me to the topic of child-rearing by Hollywood Stars. Can they do it? Are they any better/worse than the rest of us? And does it matter?
About a month ago I saw that aging actress Shirley MacLaine was coming to Edmonton - and while doing a Google Search I discovered her daughter had written her bio recently. I didn't even know she had a daughter. So, I read it.
Shirley MacLaine has always cultivated herself as a "tough dame" in a tough business and it is not hard to argue with that given her sucess. It also squares with other actors and directors general impression of MacLaine.
From there we move on to Sachi's teen and young adulthood as she seeks to develop her own identity - including the required bed-hopping common to the 1980's sexual revolution - featuring a couple of years as a QUANTAS flight attendant and her first marriage in the Oz Outback. Then back to America re-uniting in some small degree with her mom and attempting to forge a career in TV/Film. That she gained critical acclaim in a Japanese film production of a well-loved children's book "The Witch of the West is Dead" was an important turning point in Sachi's personal understanding that she DID have what it took to be successful in Entertainment or whatever else she wanted to achieve - but then she mistakenly thought her own mother would naturally help her with that goal - and was bitterly disappointed to discover otherwise. It appears that was a major turning point in their ongoing relationship - perhaps not resolved even now. And who could blame her.
Is this a special Hollywood form of Munchausen Syndrome? It sort of reminds me of the parental alienation suffered by Bill Hudson - ex-husband of actress Goldie Hawn and the father of their daughter Kate - who remains estranged from his children by her. Is such alienation/estrangement a necessary part of parent/child identity formation in extreme sucess? Apple founder Steve Jobs never reconciled with his father after his parents split - and there are numerous examples of such parental alienation/estrangement in every walk of life.
Instead, I think Sachi Parker found that she - unlike her famous mom - was formed by her experiences to be almost the polar opposite of her parents - warm, caring, sexy, constantly seeking parental validation (or whatever was the emotional equivalent) open to exploiting her show-biz genes but even more excited and empowered by motherhood. That is as far from modern Feminist cant as one could get. Also, in describing her regret over her only abortion she refers to the near-spiritual revelation she experienced after she felt she had conceived Arin, her daughter:
"That night is vivid in my memory: my husband and I had made love around midnight, and now it was around 4:30 in the morning. I was in a half-awake, half-asleep state, when quite suddenly a beautiful, indescribable feeling of love, happiness, and peace washed over me. Some kind of being, a female being - an angel, perhaps - had ntered my body, and I felt transformed and transfigured, and suffused with great serenity." p251
I suppose the lesson for Sachi Parkers life is that women can not "have it all" - but hard choices lead to tough families - and not all are so "lucky" to have to lived thorough them. In general it reaffirmed my conviction that most Hollywood stars are not fit to be parents - and in that - are not too different than the rest of us human beings - in that we are all ourselves reformed by the parenting experience to be more than just "a sum of parts".
Sachi makes the wonderful analogy between a traditional Japanese Zen Garden arrangement of 15 stones called karesansui - where all are very carefully placed so that one can not see them all at the same time.
"That's how it is with people and relationships. There's always that fifteenth stone that you can't see but you know its there. .... You can never see a person or relationship or a life whole. There are to many angles." p342